


Speak Now

by rohpsohpic



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Marriage Proposal, Pining, and eventually there is wedding crashing, and they all lived happily every after, and they have game nights where they play Monopoly (board game) and talk, don't let the cliffhanger fool you, everyone is in one big friend group, no but really everyone is pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24488812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rohpsohpic/pseuds/rohpsohpic
Summary: It all starts when Eunwoo proposes to Dahyun.
Relationships: Kim Dahyun & Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo, Kim Dahyun/Minatozaki Sana, Minor Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin - Relationship
Comments: 16
Kudos: 116
Collections: Girl Group Jukebox (Round 2)





	1. don't say yes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for GG Jukebox Round 2, inspired by "Speak Now" by Taylor Swift
> 
> And here is a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1eeHgYQ0PRPu82c4eEbMYm?si=PHqH-HrBTiiyvzAmIyDA_Q)

"So, we've been seeing each other for a while now, and I've been doing some thinking."

"Thinking, really? You?"

"Yes, thinking. Hey, don't laugh, I'm trying to be serious! I know we've always been a very lighthearted couple, and I think part of it is because we're so compatible, and I love that. But what if we made things more serious?"

"Serious, serious. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were—"

"Will you marry me?"

Dahyun stops walking. Eunwoo is down on one knee in the path that swirls with cherry blossoms. His face open; his lips open; his tiny, bizarre, incredible ring box open. It is one of those timeless, extraordinary moments that make Dahyun feel like she's being projected onto a screen. He's beautiful, like a prince in the picture books.

It's everything she's ever dreamed of.

"I—"

  
  
  


"—said I'll think about it," Dahyun finishes with a grimace, swirling a glass of water hours later at game night. Which has ground to a halt with Eunwoo's noticeable absence. Apparently, Eunwoo's grand plan for a proposal had been public knowledge to everyone except Dahyun. For months. Consequently, there really isn't much to say about it, so Dahyun stops talking to take a pensive sip of her drink. The room erupts before the glass even touches her mouth.

"You said  _ what _ ?" Jihyo asks, horrified. Her hands fly to her mouth even as her fiancé Daniel wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"You heard her," Sana says with a cutting look from where she's nestled at the foot of the couch, her arms crossed over her stomach, "she said she'll think about it."

"Oh, come on," Heechul scoffs above her on the couch, "everyone knows that's another word for 'no.'"

Without getting up from her place next to Sana on the hardwood floor, Momo promptly reaches up and slaps him punishingly in the leg. When he looks at her in shock, she just smiles innocently in a way that looks menacing. It's only after Heechul has closed his mouth in defeat that Momo says, "He's right though. Everyone knows that means 'no.'"

"No wonder the boy is so heartbroken," Jeongyeon says. Nayeon, who is using Jeongyeon's shoulder as a pillow, nods in agreement.

"But she didn't  _ say  _ 'no,'" Chaeyoung points out, though this is quickly lost in the commotion as the topic suddenly shifts to the heartbroken boy.

"What's so bad about him anyway?" Nayeon asks first.

"Nayeon!" Mina exclaims, scandalized. Everyone else seems just as surprised by the bluntness of the question; Dahyun clutches the glass tighter. Mina glances around at the rest of the crowd and asks, more uncertainly, "You can't just ask something like that, can you?"

"What? It's a legitimate question," Nayeon says, completely undeterred. "The guy's perfect. Heck,  _ I'd _ marry him."

"She's kind of right," Daniel agrees contemplatively, "He's really flawless."

"He's really handsome," says Tzuyu.

"He's really funny," says Momo.

"He's really sweet," says Mina.

"And he's really  _ rich _ ," says Jeongyeon, and everyone laughs.

"What TV show did he step out of?" Chaeyoung teases, poking Dahyun in the side. "You should tell us your secret."

As for Dahyun herself, all she feels is cold. She can't get her thoughts to stay in place long enough to formulate a reply, but that's no matter. The conversation carries on jovially enough without her, having taken on a momentum of its own, as if she, too, is only a character in a show her friends are watching.

"Forget that, you should just marry him already!" Jihyo insists.

The only person who doesn't seem to have anything to say about this development is Sana. Dahyun can feel her eyes on her face and is unable to return her gaze. As the others become increasingly engrossed in their mystified discussion, cracking jokes and debating the true meaning of the line "I'll think about it," Dahyun sits there and sips at her drink in silence; across her, Sana does the same.

It's only after everyone else has filtered out of the apartment—because of course this had to happen when it was Dahyun's turn to host; Eunwoo must have been hoping to celebrate the news of their engagement with all of their friends, and somehow this thought makes Dahyun feel so much worse—that Sana speaks again.

"You're not actually going to say yes, are you?"

"I don't know," Dahyun says, carrying the empty glassware to the kitchen counter so that it can be washed. "Eunwoo is a good guy."

Sana nods despondently, letting her hair fall across her face in a rare display of defeat. "A good guy," she agrees.

Dahyun swallows thickly as Sana finishes pulling on her shoes. She rinses the glasses and wonders, too hopefully, if Sana is going to say anything else before she leaves. Because it seems like she wants to. But she doesn't.

"Good night, Dahyun," Sana says.

"Good night, Sana."

Sometimes, Dahyun just doesn't—

  
  
  


"—understand you," Dahyun says, shaking her head when she finally confronts Eunwoo again. They're sitting across from each other at a McDonald's, safely in the realm of the normal and unromantic, no cherry blossoms or wedding rings, no magical breeze pushing them together. Still, there's nothing to hide Eunwoo's sweetly self-conscious smile. Dahyun presses on. "Why me? Why now? What makes you so sure that you want to go into something like this all of a sudden?"

When it becomes clear that Dahyun is waiting for a response, Eunwoo sighs quietly. He reaches across the table to thread his fingers with Dahyun's and asks, "Is it not enough of an explanation if I say that I like you, Dahyun, and my family adores you, and I think we'd be a good match?"

"I don't know," Dahyun shrugs, squeezing Eunwoo's hand briefly before slowly retracting hers. She feels weird doing this in public. She folds her arms and levels him a stare. "I was kind of under the impression that a marriage should be built on love."

"I know," Eunwoo says, having the decency to drop his gaze to the table. It's kind of amazing how they've been dating for almost four years now without ever using the L-word. "But I just think we have the capacity to build a good life together, maybe even the capacity to love each other, don't you?"

Dahyun doesn't say what she's thinking, that if they haven't said it by now, then they will likely never say it at all; instead, she says, "I don't believe you."

"That's okay," Eunwoo says, that same sheepish grin on his face, and not for the first time, Dahyun wonders what's really going on in Eunwoo's head. He won't beg her, he won't try to win her over; it's like marriage is just another question he has to ask. "I hope you'll—"

  
  
  


"—think about it," Dahyun says imploringly.

"I already told you, it's your life. As long as you're out there being happy and making other people smile, I have no opinion," Sana says, surfing through channels with both her feet on the couch. Even after their weird moment at game night, Sana hadn't so much as batted an eye when Dahyun showed up at her door looking for someone to talk to. For a second, Dahyun had thought that maybe this meant that things were normal between them, but so far, Sana is still no more forthcoming than she was last night. Sana makes a noise when she finds something. "They're playing  _ Sailor Moon _ . Do you want to watch  _ Sailor Moon _ ? Everyone loves  _ Sailor Moon _ ."

"You're dodging the question," Dahyun frowns. Absentmindedly, Sana reaches over to smooth out Dahyun's face with her free hand.

"Yes," Sana says, lingering a moment longer to scrape back a strand of Dahyun's hair before returning her attentions to the TV, "that is correct."

Dahyun's forehead tingles. She looks at Sana's profile and wonders why this feels so different from all the other times she's gone to Sana's apartment after a rough day.

"But you don't want me to marry him."

Dahyun doesn't miss the way Sana tenses for a fraction of a second. Laughing it off quickly, she says, "Well, I didn't say that."

"So you'd be okay?" Dahyun pounces almost too eagerly, finally finding an opening, "If I married him?"

Sana pauses. And clicks on  _ Sailor Moon _ .

"Well," she says again, "I didn't say that."

Dahyun groans in exasperation, throwing her hands up. "I wish everyone would stop being so cryptic to me. You realize I have no idea what that means."

At this, Sana laughs more genuinely, pressing a quick kiss to the edge of Dahyun's face as the TV changes screens. "Okay,  _ Sailor Moon _ time!"

As Dahyun leans into Sana's side, erasing the kiss from her face, she asks, "Am I a bad person for making him wait? Am I making things more complicated than they should be?"

Sana leans her head on top of Dahyun's and squeezes her hand in reassurance. Dahyun's hand feels almost uncomfortably warm after she lets go, and while Dahyun scrubs her palm on the couch cushions to get rid of the clammy feeling, Sana says, "No, Dahyun. I know you. You would never do that on purpose." Sana presses another kiss into Dahyun's hair before finally settling down to watch the show. The opening credits start to play, and Dahyun almost misses it when Sana finishes, very softly, "I think you're just a person."

Dahyun isn't sure why it matters so much, what Sana thinks about the proposal, but it does.

  
  
  


"Does it matter what my answer is?" Dahyun asks suddenly during one of her meetings with Eunwoo. This time they're at the riverbank, a classic date location, sitting a perfectly respectable distance away from each other on the same bench. Eunwoo looks at her with a surprised look on his face. "What happens if I say no?"

When Eunwoo recovers from his surprise, his answer has a solemn ring to it, like he's making up a proverb on the spot. Clearly, this is something that he has been mulling over in his own time. It's the first time that Dahyun considers the possibility that this situation has been bothering Eunwoo as much as it has been bothering her. There's a farawayness to him, and Dahyun can see the glassy river reflected in his eyes as he replies:

"If you say no, nothing changes. If you say yes, everything changes."

After a pause, Dahyun replies, "That is the least helpful thing I have ever heard."

  
  
  


Dahyun is, like any reasonable person, terrified of change. It's why she feels anxious going to their weekly game night without Eunwoo even though she hasn't decided whether she misses Eunwoo himself; it feels like she's walking through the door without some essential piece of body armor.

Fortunately, it's Sana's turn to host, and the moment Dahyun shows up at the door with a nervous smile, Sana attaches herself to Dahyun like a sloth to a tree.

"You're late," Sana pouts, half-waddling them to the living room, "but that's lucky for you, because now we can be a team!"

"I thought we agreed that teaming was only for couples," Nayeon says as she rolls a double. Dahyun's hand flares up where she's holding Sana's, but Sana doesn't seem to notice.

"We're a team, and we're not a couple," Jeongyeon points out.

"Yes, but I'm doing all the work," Nayeon says, picking up a Community Chest card. She quickly skims it and reports, "It's my birthday. Pay up."

Jeongyeon looks over her shoulder, unimpressed. "It says, 'Go to Jail.'"

Mina swiftly boots Nayeon's boot to Jail.

Nayeon turns to Jeongyeon and lets out a scandalized gasp. " _ And on our birthday _ !"

"Uh-huh," Jeongyeon grins.

Meanwhile, like a kid on the playground, Sana tugs Dahyun over to her spot on the couch. Somehow, she has already managed to collect all the railroads, Baltic Avenue, and nothing else. Dahyun blinks.

"Sana," she asks very slowly, "why don't we have any money?"

Unconcerned, Sana pinches one of Dahyun's cheeks. "Just give it a little time, dearie."

Almost magically, before Dahyun's very own eyes, Momo and Heechul's schnauzer lands on three railroads in a row and goes to Jail.

"How?!" Heechul screeches, " _ HOW _ ??!?"

Even Daniel, who had gotten up for snacks, practically falls over laughing. Dahyun fans out the  _ Monopoly _ money and poses like a peacock.

“How is everyone rolling doubles?” Tzuyu asks, mystified.

"Ah, yes," Dahyun croons, wiggling her eyebrows as Sana tries to stifle her giggles, "yes, of course we have money."

When Sana finally manages to stop laughing for the most part, eyes shining, she leans forward and says, "Chaeyoung, we'll give you six hundred dollars for Mediterranean Avenue."

"Sold," Chaeyoung says.

As Dahyun's jaw drops open with betrayal and the money disappears just as quickly as it came into their possession and Chaeyoung mouths a little " _ sorry _ ," everyone else laughs even harder.

After everyone has left, Dahyun stays on the couch with Sana half-asleep on her chest. Briefly, Dahyun considers falling asleep here and going home in the morning, but she has an early class tomorrow. She nudges Sana awake as gently as she can.

"Up, up," Dahyun says, "Let's get you to bed."

"It's the middle of the night," Sana whines.

"Yes, and I need to go home," Dahyun points out. At this, Sana lets out a sigh and pushes herself up.

"You do, don't you?" she says somewhat musingly. If there's some odd expression written on Sana's face, Dahyun doesn't think too hard about it.

Instead of saying anything else, Dahyun quietly chaperones as Sana swings her legs off the couch and shuffles to her bedroom. It's not until Sana has flung herself into bed and Dahyun is about to leave that Sana speaks again.

"Dahyun," Sana calls quietly, her voice hoarse with sleep. Dahyun stops in her tracks. "If I said anything, would it change your mind?"

Dahyun doesn't say anything. For a moment, the only sound is Sana's breathing.

"Everyone says you haven't given him an answer because your answer is no," Sana whispers eventually, seeming to sink farther into the bed, "but I think it's the opposite."

  
  
  


Why does Dahyun's heart twist when she's around Sana?

Why doesn't she feel that way around Eunwoo?

  
  
  


Dahyun makes up her mind to say no.

She asks Eunwoo to meet her on the cherry blossom path where he had, once upon a time, gotten down on one knee and held out a ring. She can already see the scene playing out, the two of them and a backdrop of falling flowers; she is rehearsing her part; and all she has to do is say no. Her chest feels tighter than gravity and lighter than air at the same time. It's kind of unbelievable, but she feels almost free.

Eunwoo is early. Dahyun can easily pick him out from a distance. She almost calls out to him, she feels so full of energy and possibility, and then she realizes that he is talking to someone, one of his friends. She's seen him before. He seems frustrated; Eunwoo seems at a loss.

"You're really going to go with whatever answer she gives you?" the friend is saying, "Even if that answer is 'yes'? You would really go to such lengths to run from your own feelings?"

"It's not that simple," Eunwoo cuts in, and there's something different in his normally cool and methodical voice that surprises Dahyun. For once, Eunwoo sounds almost desperate.

The friend makes a snorting noise. He doesn't believe him. "I can't believe you."

"Bin—"

"No," the friend shakes his head at the ground, his bangs concealing his face. He sounds defeated. Dahyun freezes. "No, I don't want to yell at you. It was foolish of me to come here thinking I could change your mind. You always try so hard to be enough for everyone else. That's all you ever wanted, but the thing is, that was never what I wanted. You were always enough for me, okay? You. Have always been. Enough. For. Me. And for a hot second, I thought maybe I was enough for you. I know now that I've been naïve."

The friend pauses, like he might say something else, something grand and romantic and TV-worthy. He doesn't. Instead, he shakes his head again.

"I was hoping you'd be brave enough to follow your heart, no matter the obstacles, instead of the flowery path that everyone laid out for you."

"I'm sorry," Eunwoo says quietly. His hands are shaking. "It's impossible."

The friend gives Eunwoo a hard sidelong stare.

"Eunwoo," he says finally, and there's a tiredness in his voice, like someone who knows he is staring down a dream that will never happen, "it was never impossible."

The friend turns around, his back to Dahyun, his back to Eunwoo, shoves his hands into his pockets, and walks away. Eunwoo stands rooted in place, head bowed. Dahyun's mind is spinning. She's still standing farther down the path, hiding in plain sight. Neither of them had noticed her at all.

Somehow, she moves over to Eunwoo, keeping a cautious space between them.

"Who's that?" she asks. It feels awkward, being gentle with Eunwoo like this, but he has his face in his hands and she doesn't want to startle him. Still, he tenses when he hears her voice.

A moment passes and he doesn't respond. Dahyun wonders if she should say something else, switch to another topic, but eventually, Eunwoo lifts his face and says, a tiny bit amused and a large part sad, "I'm guessing you heard that."

"Yeah," Dahyun says. "He's the one you love."

They stand there. Eunwoo doesn't say anything. Dahyun doesn't say anything. Eunwoo is nowhere close to being recomposed, but he makes no sign of disagreement. He loves him. It's just a fact. There really is not much else to say to that.

Dahyun looks at him and says, "I don't love you."

Dahyun lowers her head before she speaks again, picking at her fingers. "Truthfully, I came here to say no."

Eunwoo lets out a sad little chuckle. "I figured as much."

Dahyun stills her fingers.

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because," Eunwoo says, and then stops. They're both thinking about the same question from the McDonald's and how maybe this time they'll find a true answer to it. "Because I'm in love with him, and it will never happen."

Eunwoo lowers his hands. "The truth is, Dahyun, maybe we don't love each other, but we like each other, and my family adores you, and everyone always, always says that we're such a good match. And I'm scared that I will never be able to say as much about anyone else."

Eunwoo pulls the ring box out of his pocket. Dahyun hadn't realized he still carried it with him. It looks so small and impossible. Eunwoo must see it, too. His mouth curves slightly, at a loss. "I don't even know what I was thinking."

The truth is, maybe they don't love each other like that, but being with Eunwoo has always been comfortable. It is never jealous; it is never demanding; it is never stirring, never confusing, never dramatic, never complicated. It is never the thought that keeps her up at night. It is never anything, really. They've never been the passionate couple, just the most photogenic.

Dahyun and Eunwoo, whatever secrets they hold in their hearts, are picture perfect.

Dahyun liked to think that she was brave, that she could take a leap, but was she really any different from him?

Here, on the path that is lined with cherry trees in full bloom, the thoughts start to swirl like the petals in the breeze, kicking up a flurry.

The ring, the flowers, Sana on the couch, Sana with her arms around her, the happy couples in their friend group, their weekly game night, a roll of the dice, the look on Sana's face, the breeze, the TV, the flowery path, the chances they will never take, Eunwoo standing there with his heart broken, the feeling that Dahyun can't explain when she lingers in the doorway of Sana's bedroom late at night, too afraid to stay. Something is shifting. Somehow, she understands.

"Yes," she says, startling them both, "I will marry you."


	2. run away now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone hurtles toward the wedding date and Sana makes a realization.

"You said _what_?"

"I said yes," Dahyun says, trying to shrugs it off. Jittery, she reaches for another dress from the rack. "How does this one look?"

"No, you're not ignoring the question," Momo says, snatching the dress out of Dahyun's hand. She is about to put it back when she stops and murmurs, "Huh, that is a nice dress. But that's not the point. You really said yes? Like, for serious? No joke?"

"Yes," Dahyun says, more exasperated now at all the accompanying questions. "Is that really so hard to believe?"

"Well, yeah," Momo says bluntly. She points at Dahyun with the hand still holding the dress, almost accusatory. "You don't seem like the marrying type."

Dahyun tried to laugh it off, not expecting Momo to continue. "What? No. We never thought you'd find Heechul, either."

"You've been dating for what, three, four years, and never once did you say anything about wanting to get married," Momo shrugs, ignoring her comment, "and you're always playing around with Sana—"

"What do you mean, 'playing around'? There's nothing going on between Sana and me!"

"—it's just surprising, is all," Momo finishes, giving Dahyun a strange look that Dahyun isn't sure how to interpret. After a moment, Momo shakes her head as if clearing her thoughts and lets out a smile. "But honestly, Eunwoo? I know you guys have been dating for years, but now everyone is really going to be jealous of you. What a hottie."

Momo hands Dahyun the dress and moves on to the next rack. Dahyun stands there for a moment, frozen, before scurrying after her. She wants to ask again, why she doesn't seem like the marrying type, what Momo meant by "playing around," but in the end, something different slips out of her mouth.

"Hey, Momo," she says.

"Mm?"

Dahyun hesitates.

"You won't tell Sana, right? At least, not before I do?"

Momo gives her that strange look again. For a moment, she looks like she's going to object, but then she exhales and says, as if taking her hands off of a delicate object, "No. I won't."

At this, at the very least, Dahyun feels a tiny bit of relief.

Any day now.

  
  
  


"You're not wearing your engagement ring?" Eunwoo asks over coffee.

Dahyun shrugs and leans back in her chair. They're beyond the point of pretending to each other. She stretches out her fingers, her gaze lingering a little too long. "No. It doesn't feel real, does it?"

"No," Eunwoo sighs, letting out a smile he doesn't feel, letting her know they're on the same page, "it doesn't."

They sip at their drinks occasionally, but mostly it feels like they just sit there, and that's okay.

After a while, Eunwoo says, "His name is Moonbin, by the way."

"Moonbin," Dahyun repeats, feeling something in herself soften at this rare piece of Eunwoo's soul. "He sounds kind of lovely."

Eunwoo laughs a little and sounds a little realer, if not a little sadder. It sounds like a hiccup.

"Yeah, he really is."

  
  
  


It doesn't really hit Dahyun, the magnitude of what she's doing, until she's visiting Sana and can't get the words out. She's getting married. That's huge. The two of them are folding spring rolls and talking like everything is normal, and Dahyun feels terrible.

"You're quiet today," Sana notes with a hum, not noticing Dahyun stiffen beside her. "Did something happen?"

"I—Well—There's something I—"

Dahyun still can't say it, and she doesn't know why it's so hard. It's Sana. It's one of her closest friends. It should be so easy to tell her.

So why can't she get the words out?

Sana is looking at her.

Dahyun takes a breath and tries again.

"You know how Eunwoo asked me to— _Oh crud._ "

Dahyun's half-finished spring roll falls out of her hands and spills on the counter. Her hands are shaking so badly.

"I'm sorry, I'll clean," Dahyun says but just stands there looking at the mess she made. She can't move.

Sana gently nudges in front of Dahyun, already picking up the pieces of vegetable. "It's okay, I got it."

"No, it's not," Dahyun says, feeling a spike of distress that's so incongruous with the comfort of being in Sana's kitchen, "I'm sorry. It's just. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's alright," Sana says, turning around, looking only a little bewildered by the outburst, putting on a comforting smile. She holds up the newly repaired spring roll. The counter is clean. "See? Good as new."

Dahyun can't say anything.

"Dahyun, are you okay?" Sana asks, lowering the spring roll. There's concern in her voice. "You look like you're about to cry."

Dahyun can't stand to look her in the eye.

Sana reaches out to smooth over Dahyun's hair, and Dahyun rushes out of the apartment.

  
  
  


"You haven't told her," Momo frowns.

Dahyun guiltily bites her lip.

"You have to tell her," Momo says.

  
  
  


Except Dahyun chickens out, so the way Sana finds out is not something that Dahyun is proud of.

Eunwoo goes to game night and is met with cheers. It's like a prince has returned to his kingdom. His hand is locked with Dahyun's, matching rings and all, and when Jihyo lets out an appreciative whistle, Eunwoo raises their hands triumphantly above their heads. Dahyun is laughing. The whole fanfare is kind of funny, real or not. And even if she and Eunwoo don't love each other, their friends do, and surely that's all the warmth she needs.

"Congrats you two!" Heechul exclaims, wrapping his arms around the happy couple in a bear hug.

"Congratulations!" Mina smiles.

"Yeah, way to go!" Daniel grins.

"I can't believe you're getting married," Tzuyu sighs dreamily.

"Good for you," Jeongyeon beams, tousling Dahyun's hair.

"If things don't work out, call me," Nayeon says, patting a bewildered Eunwoo on the shoulder. Jihyo walks up and punches her in the arm.

"It's really happening," Chaeyoung says, awestruck.

And then Dahyun sees Sana at the back of the room, looking like she wants to throw up. Momo sees this, too, and goes back to hold Sana's hand comfortingly; she glances between Sana and Dahyun with a strange look on her face. Dahyun doesn't know why it hurts so much all of a sudden. It’s something she will think about, long after Sana leaves her apartment. It’s something she will figure out a little too late or maybe, depending on how she looks at it, at the perfect time.

  
  
  


Ten months later, Sana is standing in a church.

Asking Dahyun a question.

Changing everything.

  
  
  


"I'll be your maid of honor," Nayeon had said the moment Dahyun revealed the news of her engagement, swiftly enclosing both of Dahyun's hands in her own.

"Um, I was kind of . . ." Sana didn't miss the way Dahyun's eyes flicked questioningly toward where she was still standing in the far corner of the room. Sana was the only one who hadn't flocked over to congratulate her, and she knew that Dahyun noticed the careful, expressionless frown on her face. Dahyun tore her eyes away from Sana just as quickly and gave Nayeon a sort of helpless smile. ". . . Are you sure?"

"I didn't think you were into this kind of thing," Momo said, poking Nayeon in the arm.

"A week ago, you were still drooling over Eunwoo," Jeongyeon added.

"I don't drool, ever," Nayeon said flippantly, pulling Dahyun into a bear hug as if to demonstrate her commitment to the cause. Her eyes suddenly taking on a dreamy quality, she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft for once, "It's just, I've always wanted to plan a wedding."

It was all kind of touching, and Sana would have been lying if she said her heart didn't clench, just a moment, when this softer version of Nayeon leaked through; Sana was old enough to remember what Nayeon had been like as a kid, what they had all been like, young and hopeful. Sana knew what it felt like to believe in love. The announcement had made everyone softer, kinder, more generous; even Tzuyu went in for a hug. And all night long, Dahyun kept casting glances in Sana's direction. And all night long, Sana lingered in the distance like a hidden thought at the edge of the living room, impossible to catch, impossible to miss.

It was all kind of touching, if Sana could unsee the fact that Dahyun and Eunwoo weren't in love.

Everyone trickled out slowly that night, giddy, reluctant to leave. Sana, on her part, kept mostly to herself as the others voiced their congratulations. Occasionally, she let her gaze roam away from Dahyun, trying to see into anyone else's thoughts, wondering if she was the only one who felt off. Momo gave Sana's shoulder a squeeze before she joined Heechul at the door, the last pair to go. Then it was just Sana and Dahyun.

For all the times that Dahyun's eyes had sought her out in the crowd that night, Dahyun suddenly seemed unable to look at her.

"I meant to tell you," Dahyun said after a moment of shuffling her feet. She set a glass of water in front of Sana. Sana sipped at it.

"I know," Sana said.

She had known it would happen, but she hadn't thought that it would become real like this.

Dahyun started, "I didn't think—"

"I know," Sana said again.

Sana joined the couch where Dahyun had pulled her knees into a ball, tucking her head into Dahyun's shoulder, listening to the sharp exhale of Dahyun's breath. It was a familiar feeling then, as always.

"Why'd you do it?" Sana asked in a whisper.

Dahyun breathed in, out. "I don't know."

It wasn't an answer, but as Dahyun buried her face in Sana's hair, fighting some emotion she couldn't name, Sana decided not to press her on it, not right now. But later, when it mattered, when it would make a difference, she would come back to it. She knew it.

  
  
  


Anemone.

Hydrangea.

Astilbe.

And, everywhere, cherry blossoms.

  
  
  


Dahyun had asked Sana to be her bridesmaid. Sana said no. It was an impossible, preposterous request, and Dahyun must have known. Still, Dahyun had asked.

"It feels wrong to take this journey without you," Dahyun had said afterward, or something like that, lowering her eyes to the glass of water she cupped with both hands.

Sana had looked at her and bitten her tongue.

  
  
  


It's funny, the things you notice when you bare your soul to someone.

The flowers.

The size of the stained glass windows.

The look on Dahyun's face.

The small, hopeful, teetering feeling inside Sana's heart, like it just might break, like it just might burst.

  
  
  


When Sana received the thick white envelope in the mail, she didn't open it. She set it on the counter and tried her best to forget about it. She almost succeeded. Then Dahyun showed up at her door.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Dahyun had demanded as soon as Sana opened the door. She looked mad, which was unusual.

Sana stared at her, bewildered. "Aren't you busy with the wedding?"

Dahyun stopped glaring for a moment to raise her eyebrows. It was almost challenging. "Do you really think I wouldn't make time to yell at you for blowing me off during this most important time of my life?" she asked flatly.

Sana searched Dahyun's face, debating whether to answer, but all Dahyun wore was her frustration, so Sana kept quiet. It wasn't the right time.

It seemed like it was never the right time.

She didn't notice Dahyun's eyes sliding to the envelope on the counter until Dahyun stiffened and Sana mentally cursed herself for leaving it in plain sight. Slowly, Dahyun drifted over into the kitchen and picked it up, almost delicately.

"You haven't opened it?" Dahyun asked, tracing the edges of the envelope with a faraway look.

"Would you be able to?" Sana asked back, then bit her lip. She was starting to slip.

"It's my wedding, Sana," Dahyun said, as if she hadn't heard Sana's comment. She turned the envelope over and frowned. "I want you there."

Sana couldn't stop looking at the envelope in Dahyun's hands, the envelope that could only contain an invitation to the wedding that she so dreaded.

"You're marrying someone you don't even love." Sana wanted to stop. Sana had to stop. She couldn't. "I can't stand to see it."

Sana didn't want to hope for it, didn’t know why she was looking for it, but from the way Dahyun tensed at the words, she knew that she had been right.

"You can't possibly know that," Dahyun said, fighting to keep her voice light. Against her better judgment, Sana felt the faintness of a smile crease her face.

"But I do."

"How?"

"Because I know you," Sana said, earnestly. Because Dahyun was here and not picking out flowers, or tasting cakes, or trying on dresses, or whatever brides did when they were getting ready for a wedding. Because Dahyun was still holding that unopened envelope. Because Dahyun was looking at her with those wide eyes. Because she could just tell when Dahyun didn’t love someone, because Dahyun didn't—

Dahyun kissed her on the mouth.

Dahyun was kissing her on the mouth, and Sana just stood there limply, shocked into stillness.

When Dahyun stopped, Sana stared back at her blankly. What. What a mess.

"Dahyun," she remembers saying, "You're engaged."

Dahyun hesitated. Dahyun looked like she wanted to say something else. Maybe she would have, if Sana had kissed her back. That's one of the many things Sana will try not to think about long after Dahyun leaves.

Instead, Dahyun's last words were a vehement, "I've made a mistake," before she fled Sana's apartment, scrubbing at her mouth with the sleeve of her jacket.

Sana stood there for a long time, alone.

It would have saved everyone so much time if she had realized then that Dahyun was in love with _her_ . That _she_ had been in love with Dahyun all along.

But she hadn't, not then, and so the story continues.

  
  
  


The _look_ on Dahyun's face.

  
  
  


There comes a time, even for someone as effusive as Sana, when it becomes necessary to come up for air. The wedding was all anyone could talk about, especially now that it was so suffocatingly close to the big date. As both the wedding planner and maid of honor, Nayeon was always dealing with this or that emergency, which meant that she spent most of her time rapidly composing emails and juggling calls; as Nayeon’s designated emotional support person, Jeongyeon spent most of her time being on the receiving end of Nayeon’s phone calls; Jihyo was hunting for wedding presents; Mina was running errands; Chaeyoung was writing a speech; Tzuyu was dress shopping, which sounded innocuous enough until Sana realized that even this was a wedding-related activity; and whenever she met up with Momo, Momo would lean forward and go, “but how are _you_ feeling,” and Sana would shut up like a clam.

Sana needed to get away. So, the day before the wedding, she called up her old friend Eunbi for lunch.

When Eunbi sat down across from her at their outdoor table, holding her designer purse in her lap, pouting sympathetically, the first thing she asked was, “Was it the wedding stuff?”

Coming from anyone else, Sana would have been frustrated, but instead, she nodded guiltily. “Uh-huh.”

“Oh, honey,” Eunbi sighed, setting her purse down and fixing her bangs. “You’ve got it bad.”

Sana nodded again, feeling weirdly teary. “Uh-huh. I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm so upset.”

Eunbi examined her carefully. She had a way of making it look like she could see into a person's soul. "You know," she said lightly, "the other Eunbi, her best friend is in love with a guy who is marrying someone else."

Sana had only sniffed uncomprehendingly, bewildered at the sudden change of subject. "Oh, that's too bad." She dabbed at her eyes with the edge of a napkin, squinting up at her friend. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Eunbi groaned and slapped her forehead to the table.

It was the night before the wedding that Sana finally opened the envelope with Dahyun's address on it. She was sitting alone in her apartment, feeling empty with the knowledge that all her friends were miles outside of the city at the rehearsal dinner, and the envelope weighed heavily on her mind as it usually did. The wedding invitation.

It would hurt. Sana didn't want to open it.

And then she opened it. And she sighed, because yes, it was a wedding invitation, and yes, it was kind of beautiful. And it felt strange, holding this truth in her hands, like letting out a breath she had been holding for months. Her friend was getting married to someone she didn't love. It was kind of sad, but it was the decision Dahyun had come to, and Sana could only wonder why.

She traced her finger on the edge of the thick paper like Dahyun had, that time she barged into Sana's apartment. That time she kissed her on the mouth. It was kind of soft. She turned it over. And—in Dahyun's handwriting—

_let's run away_

And. And. And.

"Oh."

  
  
  


The next day, Sana is standing in a church.

And everyone is looking at her.

Eunwoo looks happy, weirdly enough. The best man, Moonbin, looks incredulous. Nayeon looks shocked; Jeongyeon looks nonplussed; Jihyo looks sleepy, and Daniel looks like this is the most entertaining moment of his life; Heechul looks positively gleeful; Mina looks delighted; Chaeyoung is ripping up her flashcards; Tzuyu looks amazing in her new dress. Somewhere in the lineup, Momo finds Sana and smiles knowingly. The preacher looks antsy. Then Eunwoo quietly takes Moonbin's hand in his, and this small act of bravery fills Sana's heart with something that feels entirely possible.

And Dahyun looks her in the face, her mouth open like "oh," and Sana wants to reply, "yeah, oh." It's like they're all in a cartoon, their feelings written across their faces for the world to see.

Sana smiles faintly.

She feels . . . hopeful.

"I," she begins, "am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion, but . . ."


End file.
